This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
