i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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