...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
