woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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