id be glad to
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize