11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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