I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
