Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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