The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
