Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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