dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
