Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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