She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
