You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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