cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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