There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
