you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
