fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
