So drunk its hurt
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
this will be a night to untag.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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