Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
