My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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