We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize