oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
