yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
