I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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