dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
