what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
