Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
