dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Is it penis luge time yet?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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