i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
