i don't like sucking hair
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
