HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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