I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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