Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
