I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
