we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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