im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
