I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A bitchslap is in order.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
