ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
