I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have aggressive nipples.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize