he shaved USA in his pubs
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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