sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
