You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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