I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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