Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize