The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
