Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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