Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
