Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i need some magic done to my vagina
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
