so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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