I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
