I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
