Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
