I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
