What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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