Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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