Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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