She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize