I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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