I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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