Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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