if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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