doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
