i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
