what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
