Just cropdusted the office
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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