R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
