i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
