that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
