guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize